How to Boss Up After a Break Up
Updated: Apr 6
Breakups suck.. There’s no way around it. You leave a person or a life that you thought was comfortable, and then things have to change. You might feel lonely or insecure. You might even regret the breakup after it happens.
But, I’m here to tell you one thing: If you broke up, there’s probably a good reason. People in healthy relationships don’t just end it.
So if you’re sitting there sad, or you feel like running back to your ex - hear me out. I swear, I have enough experience to know what I’m talking about. I went through a breakup that rocked my freaking world and I let myself wallow in that for way too long, and I regret that. But after I put my big girl panties on and decided to face it, I became a completely different (and better) person.
I’ll be honest, these tips won’t help you get over him. That’s just something that you have to do in your own time, and on your own terms. But they will help distract you from wallowing in the breakup, and they will force you to think positively moving forward.
First things first: talk about it, cry about it, write about it - whatever you need to do. Don’t fake yourself out into thinking that you’re fine when you’re not. Some people thought they’d marry that person, some people dated for 6 years, whatever it is - I get it, and it’s okay to be hurt.
But here’s the thing. You can’t cry about it forever. The sooner that you accept the situation for what it is, the sooner you’ll be able to move on from it. Accept what happened, how it made you feel, and where you’re at now.
I understand that everyone had different relationships and situations - but here’s something I’d like you to keep in mind: If you’re thinking about it like it’s in the past, you’ve been thinking about it for too long. - Let me explain.. When you immediately break up with someone, it’s ‘current’. But once you get to the point where you can’t remember what the relationship was truly like, or you feel like you wouldn’t know the person if you talked again - you’re living in the past.
Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about what to do once you’re actually ready to move on..
When you let them go, actually let them go. Stop talking with them, stop going places that you know they’ll be at, stop looking at the pictures, stop thinking of ways that you can get them back, and definitely don’t text them when you’re drunk.. Quit it all. Get them out of your mind completely. If they weren’t worth your time then, don’t let them take your time now.
Don’t let them know that they’ve hurt you. This part is the hardest, I know. I know that you want closure. I know how bad you want to say ‘F-you’ because they ruined your life. I get it. But if you do that, you’re just showing them how much you care. You’re giving them a satisfaction that they don’t deserve. Just boss up, and let them realize how much better you’re doing without them. That’s what they deserve.
Don’t immediately move on to someone else. I know that I just told you to let them realize how much better you’re doing without them, but I don’t mean with someone else. Let them see how much better you are. Don’t rush into anything to distract yourself and don’t do anything for attention or payback. You’ll regret it in the long run, I promise.
Don’t worry about what they’re doing. If you broke up, it doesn’t matter what they’re doing or who they’re doing it with - because frankly, you don’t own them. They are on their own now. They get to make their own decisions, no matter how that will make you feel.. That’s their choice. - And if they chose poorly, that should remind you of their character and why you broke up.
Take time to work on yourself. If you take away anything from this post, let it be this. Let you be your main focus. Get in the gym, do what makes you happy, figure out your future, find yourself - whatever is best for you, do it. You will never regret the time you spent making yourself happy.
So that’s all that was on my mind. The main point is, you have a new life after a breakup. Take that second chance on yourself and do better. Work on yourself, figure out how you can be better in your next relationship, figure out what you want next time you decide to date someone - but mainly just accept the single life. Embrace it until something better comes along, because being sad about it won’t fix it.
I hope these tips didn’t come across as harsh. I know that breakups are the worst. I know that it leaves people heartbroken.. Trust me, I’ve been there! But I say all of these things because I wish I would have heard them years ago.. It would have helped me so much! And no matter what, I’m gonna keep it real with you guys.. Only because I care. :)
See you next time! xx